I'm going to start ironing whilst I wait for you to come on line - that just shows you how desparate and depraved I really am.
Saturday, 30 April 2011
1:19pm
I have been to the bank; ordered statement; bought a new bag - it's big so in comparison I look smaller; bought a Sub - chicken tikka and cheese, and sprite; sat in the park - thinking about the time you and I have sat together on lovely Britich summer days, and tried to phone - only to find I will be charged so had to imagine you were there with me. I have done one lot of washing from the holiday and am now waiting for the white wash to finish. Pile of ironing to do, well two piles actually. Very happy despite you not being with me (that is always in the background and I try not to dwell on it). Missing you as always but I am more hopeful now than I have been since you went that the time is coming when you will be back. You asked what I would do if you died. I try not to think about that but it does pass through my mind especially now when I think of all this wasted time spent apart from you. I think about the way I bahaved towards you sometimes when you were with me and I hope to keep in mind that spending time with you is the best fun and I shouldn't take you for granted.
I love you.
I have been to the bank; ordered statement; bought a new bag - it's big so in comparison I look smaller; bought a Sub - chicken tikka and cheese, and sprite; sat in the park - thinking about the time you and I have sat together on lovely Britich summer days, and tried to phone - only to find I will be charged so had to imagine you were there with me. I have done one lot of washing from the holiday and am now waiting for the white wash to finish. Pile of ironing to do, well two piles actually. Very happy despite you not being with me (that is always in the background and I try not to dwell on it). Missing you as always but I am more hopeful now than I have been since you went that the time is coming when you will be back. You asked what I would do if you died. I try not to think about that but it does pass through my mind especially now when I think of all this wasted time spent apart from you. I think about the way I bahaved towards you sometimes when you were with me and I hope to keep in mind that spending time with you is the best fun and I shouldn't take you for granted.
I love you.
Friday, 29 April 2011
Well it has been a while since I last wrote what with the lovely holiday with you in Pakistan and recovering my equilibrium after. I am feeling somewhat calm re our situation when I don't think about it too much - a bit like hibernation for your feelings. Still haven't put away clothing from suitcase but have a lovely long weekend in which to do it. I still have a few jobs to do before I am settled.
I love you
I love you
Monday, 25 April 2011
No countdown
Missing you terribly. I am hopeful I will feel better as time goes bybut at the moment I feel really unhappy and desolate.
Wednesday, 20 April 2011
Friday, 15 April 2011
Another fab day. A visit to A's sister then a trip to Rawal Dam (Rawal Lake) and a boat ride. As the only swimmer amongst us I felt duty bound to laugh at the others. Chai followed and my only regret was that the tables with rugs on them and sausage shaped pillows were cleared away due to the weather. Had a little troll around Banni in the evening to buy naan freshly cooked on the tandoor and chicken on the brazier. Tried Kashmiri bread (Kashmiri Kulcha) - very short. Jelabi was also purchased and tasted so much nicer than that I can get at home. I can't describe how wonderful this holiday has been. It really is an interesting place to be. I have some good photos of all the family and they are so comfortable to be with.
I have worked out what the horn honking means - I am here - Non of it is done with any idea of road rage. Overtaking and undertaking is all acceptable.
I have established that A's mom will keep the gas on so that she doesn't have to use a new match though I am sure that the gas costs more.
A's brother, like A is going to make someone a wonderful husband.
They truly are a remarkable family with such an ability to laugh and enjoy their lives.
I feel the need to pinch myself as the phrase too good to be true pops into my head.
I have worked out what the horn honking means - I am here - Non of it is done with any idea of road rage. Overtaking and undertaking is all acceptable.
I have established that A's mom will keep the gas on so that she doesn't have to use a new match though I am sure that the gas costs more.
A's brother, like A is going to make someone a wonderful husband.
They truly are a remarkable family with such an ability to laugh and enjoy their lives.
I feel the need to pinch myself as the phrase too good to be true pops into my head.
Wednesday, 13 April 2011
Wow had a super day. Slept in late (still British time). At about 3 we went out. From Rawalpindi down Forest Office Rd, through Banni Chowk to Islamabad. Rawalpindi and Islamabad are twin cities. Islamabad being the capital city. There we went to see the Faisal Mosque, named after King Faisal of Saudi Arabia. Marble was cool on the feet. Purchased a couple of school books and some post cards. A used to go to visit this mosque when he was at college. It was closed for prayer.
Next we went to the Margallah Hills. It links two provinces. It was rather like the Waseley Hills in that you have to pay to park and there was somewhere to have a snack and a drink. Tried pan - a sweet concoction wrapped in a leaf and had my photo taken by a complete stranger. A insisted that he was on it also. We had a lovely cup of tea before seeing the panorama of Islamabad. Lovely view of the mosque and the mountains. There were monkies, peacocks and a sign suggested that there were also leopards. There were many photo opportunities. Some lovely ones of A and his brother. There was an open air mosque and call to prayer was heard here also. Many police checks into and out of Islamabad.
The Pakistan Monument was, I think, my favourite. It was lovely viewed at night and the hand prints of some of the workers was a nice addition.
A is as always wonderful. Attentive, thoughtful a real rarity. He has made the normally most mundane into wonderful. Why am I surprised he does it all the time. He listened to my living in a hut ideas again. I really couldn't be happier. It is not the sort that you feel for an hour or two but the sort you get when you are content with what life has given you.
Next we went to the Margallah Hills. It links two provinces. It was rather like the Waseley Hills in that you have to pay to park and there was somewhere to have a snack and a drink. Tried pan - a sweet concoction wrapped in a leaf and had my photo taken by a complete stranger. A insisted that he was on it also. We had a lovely cup of tea before seeing the panorama of Islamabad. Lovely view of the mosque and the mountains. There were monkies, peacocks and a sign suggested that there were also leopards. There were many photo opportunities. Some lovely ones of A and his brother. There was an open air mosque and call to prayer was heard here also. Many police checks into and out of Islamabad.
The Pakistan Monument was, I think, my favourite. It was lovely viewed at night and the hand prints of some of the workers was a nice addition.
A is as always wonderful. Attentive, thoughtful a real rarity. He has made the normally most mundane into wonderful. Why am I surprised he does it all the time. He listened to my living in a hut ideas again. I really couldn't be happier. It is not the sort that you feel for an hour or two but the sort you get when you are content with what life has given you.
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