Gosh I look old. I have found myself wondering what I would do if something happened to you and then I thought about the people who leave their old lives and become tramps and beggers. You hear tell of people who disconect from their lives and stat a new one on the streets. I am missing you greatly. Missing just having you with me. I dont want to do anything. I am finding it difficult to be motivated to do anything or find joy in anything. I feel so low at times. I try to keep myself cheered up but it is difficult. Everything just goes on around me and I am conscious that no one relly understands the pain I am going through except you. I saw the girl who I met when I was coming out to Pakistan and she asked how it had been. I had forgotten that it was her that I had seen. Which again proves how old I am getting. My memory is falling away. All I can do is feel an ache constantly in my stomach/heart.
Love you.