http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=lun7ZK-m4qk
Steven Fry - New Zealand Bird Names
Steven Fry - New Zealand Bird Names
Wednesday, 1 June 2011
Name Jokes?
Have you ever heard of name jokes such as:
What do you call...
1. a one legged female pirate- Peggy
2. a lady with one leg shorter than the other-eileen
3. a man with his legs chopped off up to the knee- neil
4. a man with no legs/arms in a swimming pool- bob
etc
What do you call...
1. a one legged female pirate- Peggy
2. a lady with one leg shorter than the other-eileen
3. a man with his legs chopped off up to the knee- neil
4. a man with no legs/arms in a swimming pool- bob
etc
Guy with no arms or legs:
on the wall? - Art
on your doorstep? - Matt
in your hot tub? - Stu
in the ocean? - Bowie (Buoy)
in your fireplace? - Bernie
in your mailbox? - Bill
in a tiger cage? - Claude
buried six feet under? - Doug
buried three feet under? - Douglas
under a bed? - Dusty
on George W's desk? - Vito
who's been struck by lightning? - Rodon a grill? - Frank
in a pile of leaves - Russel (probably my fav.)
on a hill? - Roland
Girl with no arms or legs:
on the grill? - Patty
blowing in the wind? - Gail
on a microscope slide? - Jean (or man - Gene)
in a pond? - Lily
on a fence? - Barb
in a vase? - Rose
on a tennis court? - Annette
girl that had one leg shorter than the other was Eileen Dover.
Rusty Bedsprings by I.P. Nightly
40 Yards to the Outhouse by Willie Maykit
on the wall? - Art
on your doorstep? - Matt
in your hot tub? - Stu
in the ocean? - Bowie (Buoy)
in your fireplace? - Bernie
in your mailbox? - Bill
in a tiger cage? - Claude
buried six feet under? - Doug
buried three feet under? - Douglas
under a bed? - Dusty
on George W's desk? - Vito
who's been struck by lightning? - Rodon a grill? - Frank
in a pile of leaves - Russel (probably my fav.)
on a hill? - Roland
Girl with no arms or legs:
on the grill? - Patty
blowing in the wind? - Gail
on a microscope slide? - Jean (or man - Gene)
in a pond? - Lily
on a fence? - Barb
in a vase? - Rose
on a tennis court? - Annette
girl that had one leg shorter than the other was Eileen Dover.
Rusty Bedsprings by I.P. Nightly
40 Yards to the Outhouse by Willie Maykit
http://www.behindthename.com/random/
Its a bit of fun
IrmgardSwanhildaIshbel khan
Flava Freak Puff Funk Sugar Playa Khan
http://www.apneasupport.org/about9593.html
We are Mr and Mrs Snickle and Sloopy Wafflebutt
Its a bit of fun
IrmgardSwanhildaIshbel khan
Flava Freak Puff Funk Sugar Playa Khan
http://www.apneasupport.org/about9593.html
We are Mr and Mrs Snickle and Sloopy Wafflebutt
BANANA
BOX
BRUISED
CARIBBEAN
DOCKS
FAIRTRADE
FRUIT
GREEN
HERB
PICKER
PLANT
PLANTATION
REFRIGERATE
SHIP
SPLIT
TRUCK
TRUCK
YELLOW
BOX
BRUISED
CARIBBEAN
DOCKS
FAIRTRADE
FRUIT
GREEN
HERB
PICKER
PLANT
PLANTATION
REFRIGERATE
SHIP
SPLIT
TRUCK
TRUCK
YELLOW
| D | Y | C | H | A | D | W | U | B | J | E | J | Y | N | K | S | Q | P | X | K |
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| T | Q | S | Y | K | A | C | I | W | Y | R | T | S | A | J | G | K | E | A | K |
Do banana plants walk
There has been a banana tree in the greenhouse at Hall Place, Bexley for as many years as I can remember. I don't think it has ever been for a walk around the gardens.
Maybe it sneaks out at night when no-one's looking.
I came to a railway crossing in Jamaica once that had a sign up saying:
SLOW BANANA CROSSING.
It is a common myth that banana plants may "walk" or move as they grow. This myth originates form South American banana plantations, and is a gross misunderstanding of how the banana plant grows.
To resolve this misunderstanding, it is first important to know that the banana plant is not a tree, but a herb. What this means is that the part of the banana plant that sticks out of the ground (called a pseudostem) is only a small part of the plant, and in fact grows, bears fruit and dies all within a year, compared to the relatively long lifespan of the plant of up to 25 years.
The banana stem exists underground, growing laterally. The plant will grow only up to two pseudostems at any given time, with several months' difference between them.
As the pseudostems grow, bear fruit and die, it looks as though the plant is moving slightly, whereas all that is really happening is that the actual banana plant is growing laterally underground and sending its' pseudostems up in slightly different positions.
The position of the pseudostems' growing site may differ from the original by up to 40 centimetres in the lifetime of a banana plant.
Maybe it sneaks out at night when no-one's looking.
I came to a railway crossing in Jamaica once that had a sign up saying:
SLOW BANANA CROSSING.
It is a common myth that banana plants may "walk" or move as they grow. This myth originates form South American banana plantations, and is a gross misunderstanding of how the banana plant grows.
To resolve this misunderstanding, it is first important to know that the banana plant is not a tree, but a herb. What this means is that the part of the banana plant that sticks out of the ground (called a pseudostem) is only a small part of the plant, and in fact grows, bears fruit and dies all within a year, compared to the relatively long lifespan of the plant of up to 25 years.
The banana stem exists underground, growing laterally. The plant will grow only up to two pseudostems at any given time, with several months' difference between them.
As the pseudostems grow, bear fruit and die, it looks as though the plant is moving slightly, whereas all that is really happening is that the actual banana plant is growing laterally underground and sending its' pseudostems up in slightly different positions.
The position of the pseudostems' growing site may differ from the original by up to 40 centimetres in the lifetime of a banana plant.
Banana
Did you know my husband is a banana freak?
Another 25 interesting things
Here are 25 facts about one of the world's most popular fruits:
The banana "tree" is not really a tree, but a giant herb. The banana is the fruit of this herb.
The cluster of bananas sold in supermarkets is a "hand" of bananas, while the individual bananas on the hand are called fingers.
The strings that go up and down the length of bananas are called Phloem Bundles. They help distribute nutrients to every part of the growing bananas.
The yellow bananas that are most often sold in supermarkets are sometimes called "dessert bananas" because they are soft and sweet.
Plantains are a type of banana that are not as sweet and are usually cooked. While not as commonly eaten in North America, plantains are a dietary staple in many tropical regions.
It is believed by many experts that bananas were the first fruit cultivated by humans.
Alexander the Great first came across bananas in India in 327 B.C.
Bananas were introduced to the United States at the 1876 Philadelphia Centennial Celebration, where they were sold wrapped in foil for 10 cents each.
Worldwide, bananas are the fourth largest fruit crop.
The average American consumes 28 pounds of bananas per year.
The banana peel is edible, though perhaps not very palatable unless cooked.
About 50 percent of people who are allergic to latex are often also allergic to bananas.
India is the #1 banana producer in the world.
The most popular banana cultivar in the world is the Cavendish. This is the banana most often seen in U.S. and European markets.
Before Cavendish, Gros Michel was the main banana cultivar exported on a mass, commercial scale. In the mid-20th century, Gros Michel was ravaged by Panama disease and is no longer sold commercially.
Panama disease, or Fusarium wilt, is a fungus that attacks banana plants. It was reported in Australia in the 19th century.
It is believed that the Cavendish, like the Gros Michel, will be devastated by Panama disease within 20 years and will no longer be able to be produced commercially. This would be a difficult blow to the banana industry.
Scientists are trying to develop a hybrid, disease-resistant banana.
Chiquita was initially called the United Fruit Company. In the 20th century, they played a controversial role in the politics of Central America, where they had vast holdings. The company earned the nickname of "The Octopus" in the region because they had their hands in so many political pots.
The CIA-sponsored 1954 coup that overthrew the democratically-elected Guatemalan government headed by Jacobo Arbenz Guzmán is believed to be a direct result of influence by the United Fruit Company, which had an antagonistic relationship with the Arbenz government.
In Uganda, bananas are such a big part of the diet that the same word, matooke, is used for both "food" and "banana."
The pejorative term "banana republic" was coined by American writer O. Henry. He used it in reference to Honduras, but the term became widely used in reference to any Latin American, Caribbean, or African country that was politically unstable, relied heavily on basic agriculture, and was not technologically advanced.
The banana split was invented in 1904 by 23-year-old David Evans Strickler, an employee at the Tassel Pharmacy soda fountain in Latrobe, Pennsylvania.
The song "Yes, We Have No Bananas" was released in 1923 and became a huge hit. It refers to the banana shortage at the time.
In 2001, Britain recorded 300 incidents of injuries related to bananas. The majority of these involved people slipping on banana peels.
Another 25 interesting things
Here are 25 facts about one of the world's most popular fruits:
The banana "tree" is not really a tree, but a giant herb. The banana is the fruit of this herb.
The cluster of bananas sold in supermarkets is a "hand" of bananas, while the individual bananas on the hand are called fingers.
The strings that go up and down the length of bananas are called Phloem Bundles. They help distribute nutrients to every part of the growing bananas.
The yellow bananas that are most often sold in supermarkets are sometimes called "dessert bananas" because they are soft and sweet.
Plantains are a type of banana that are not as sweet and are usually cooked. While not as commonly eaten in North America, plantains are a dietary staple in many tropical regions.
It is believed by many experts that bananas were the first fruit cultivated by humans.
Alexander the Great first came across bananas in India in 327 B.C.
Bananas were introduced to the United States at the 1876 Philadelphia Centennial Celebration, where they were sold wrapped in foil for 10 cents each.
Worldwide, bananas are the fourth largest fruit crop.
The average American consumes 28 pounds of bananas per year.
The banana peel is edible, though perhaps not very palatable unless cooked.
About 50 percent of people who are allergic to latex are often also allergic to bananas.
India is the #1 banana producer in the world.
The most popular banana cultivar in the world is the Cavendish. This is the banana most often seen in U.S. and European markets.
Before Cavendish, Gros Michel was the main banana cultivar exported on a mass, commercial scale. In the mid-20th century, Gros Michel was ravaged by Panama disease and is no longer sold commercially.
Panama disease, or Fusarium wilt, is a fungus that attacks banana plants. It was reported in Australia in the 19th century.
It is believed that the Cavendish, like the Gros Michel, will be devastated by Panama disease within 20 years and will no longer be able to be produced commercially. This would be a difficult blow to the banana industry.
Scientists are trying to develop a hybrid, disease-resistant banana.
Chiquita was initially called the United Fruit Company. In the 20th century, they played a controversial role in the politics of Central America, where they had vast holdings. The company earned the nickname of "The Octopus" in the region because they had their hands in so many political pots.
The CIA-sponsored 1954 coup that overthrew the democratically-elected Guatemalan government headed by Jacobo Arbenz Guzmán is believed to be a direct result of influence by the United Fruit Company, which had an antagonistic relationship with the Arbenz government.
In Uganda, bananas are such a big part of the diet that the same word, matooke, is used for both "food" and "banana."
The pejorative term "banana republic" was coined by American writer O. Henry. He used it in reference to Honduras, but the term became widely used in reference to any Latin American, Caribbean, or African country that was politically unstable, relied heavily on basic agriculture, and was not technologically advanced.
The banana split was invented in 1904 by 23-year-old David Evans Strickler, an employee at the Tassel Pharmacy soda fountain in Latrobe, Pennsylvania.
The song "Yes, We Have No Bananas" was released in 1923 and became a huge hit. It refers to the banana shortage at the time.
In 2001, Britain recorded 300 incidents of injuries related to bananas. The majority of these involved people slipping on banana peels.
I am very much enjoying Mc Beaton - Agatha Raison on BBC I Player radio. Just the right sense of humour. Main character played by Penelope Keith - a very posh sounding comedienne, actress. She used to play the lead in To the Manor Born. Favourite line 'I enjoy a fry up but draw the line at crispy fried cat.' The cat can be heard meowing and is obviously investigating the frying pan as she is making breakfast. Sending a 3 hulomail of the little bit I am referring to.
Penelope Keith
Born 2 April 1940 in Sutton, Surrey, Penelope Keith developed her famously plummy accent at boarding school.
Her first major break came playing the chiffon clad snob Margot Leadbetter in popular 1970s British sitcom The Good Life.
Originally a peripheral character in the series, Keith's natural comedic talent saw Margot's role grow into a much-loved household favourite, winning her a BAFTA for Best Comedy Performer.
Keith went on to take the starring role of former lady of the manor Audrey fforbes-Hamilton in To The Manor Born. Audrey's love-hate relationship with nouveau-riche businessman Richard DeVere (Peter Bowles) attracted huge viewing figures and cemented Keith's niche in playing snobby but likable toffs.
She appeared as the lead character in six other sitcoms, including most notably No Job for a Lady and Next of Kin, although none of these matched the popularity of her previous shows.
Her most recent television role was in 2003 playing snooty suburban matron Margery opposite Eastender's Dot Cotton (June Brown) in one-off comedy-drama Margery and Gladys.
In 2007 she was awarded a CBE.
Another line from the radio programme, 'I'll have my usual breakfast, fags and fingernails.'
Originally a peripheral character in the series, Keith's natural comedic talent saw Margot's role grow into a much-loved household favourite, winning her a BAFTA for Best Comedy Performer.
Keith went on to take the starring role of former lady of the manor Audrey fforbes-Hamilton in To The Manor Born. Audrey's love-hate relationship with nouveau-riche businessman Richard DeVere (Peter Bowles) attracted huge viewing figures and cemented Keith's niche in playing snobby but likable toffs.
She appeared as the lead character in six other sitcoms, including most notably No Job for a Lady and Next of Kin, although none of these matched the popularity of her previous shows.
Her most recent television role was in 2003 playing snooty suburban matron Margery opposite Eastender's Dot Cotton (June Brown) in one-off comedy-drama Margery and Gladys.
In 2007 she was awarded a CBE.
Another line from the radio programme, 'I'll have my usual breakfast, fags and fingernails.'
Charpai
What is a charpai? It’s a portable string cot, with many uses. The word “char” means 4, and “pai” means legs. Where to but one in England is difficult to find. I think someone suggested the Ladypool Rd.
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